A couple of weeks ago the doctors determined that much of both legs would have to be amputated. He also began noticing other areas of his health leading to certain complication and, through much prayer and time with my mom, decided to stop fighting death. Technicians refer to dialysis not as life-support, but death-delay because there’s no healing or recovery for a dialysis patient, only a slow and painful death. My father’s decision was to take his life out of the hands of dialysis and into the hand of Christ—knowing that Jesus would heal him for this life, or take him home for the ultimate healing in paradise.

I’ve been living in my parents living room for almost two weeks. Jenny has given me a wonderful gift by bearing the entire burden of our household so that I can spend these priceless last days with my parents. They come across every couple of days to spend time with grandpa, and to grieve. We’re all exhausted, so I don’t want to allow the strain and sorrow to overpower the immense gratitude that we all have to spend such precious moments with my dad before he passes into the Kingdom. The last 10 days feel like a year and counting with no idea of what will come.

I hope to give you updates when there’s something to share.

• I want to ask for your continued prayers and support at this time. I’m in Edmonds. Jenny’s mostly at home with trips to Edmonds as often as they can. We’re all beat and really value your prayer.
• My mom is really having a rough time. She and my father are 57 years old. That’s young, and my mom can’t imagine how she’ll spend the next 30 yrs without my father’s companionship.
• My dad’s strength is dropping noticeably each day. This morning he asked for oxygen and is pretty much needing it all the time now. That doesn’t keep him from sitting up to entertain and share about God’s blessing in his life.

Thanks again. I’ll send another update soon. Please feel free to pass this on to others because I’m sure I forgot some.

UPDATE

First… I would like to take your wonderful responses and enter them into my blog as comments. IF YOU’D RATHER HAVE YOUR NAME LEFT OFF OF THE REPLY PLEASE TELL ME ASAP.

Now, the reason that I want to post this stuff on my blog is that my family have been blessed beyond measure by your thoughtfulness, personal stories and encouragement. My mom is reading many of your words to close friends and family as they visit us, so I think she’d love for me to share, more publicly, so that our family all over can be blessed.

Yesterday (9/13/07) :
My father decided to get up so that he could tell stories about each of his guns and fishing poles—you know, his father’s father shot a bear with that one, my dad caught a 6’ sturgeon with that pole, etc… It was a really meaningful time, especially with his own voice and exaggerations.

All of the sudden, my father said, “Welp, I think I’d like to go see the Woodway football team practice.” He buckled the belt on his motorized wheelchair, asked for his wind-breaker, pushed his Woodway ball cap down just above his forehead (redneck style), and before I could alert my mom, he was half-way down the cul-de-sac. We grabbed the keys and fought traffic all the way to the stadium trying to keep up. Imagine this… my dad had been on oxygen, half asleep, and outta nowhere bolts for 220th in “hi” mode. He went, encouraged the head coach, and split for home faster than we could get back in the truck. It was a successful trip for my father. I lost my mind.

I took the excitement as an opportunity to surprise Jenny with a trip home… possibly for a couple of days. It was a divine break with my lady and kids.

Today (9/14/07) :
My father’s little adventure yesterday may have been one of those bursts of energy right before the storm. Today he’s barely able to carry on a conversation without falling to sleep. He’s bleeding internally as his body is now trying to survive a very high level of toxins that are usually filtered out by your kidneys. He’s beginning to labor with each breath. When he cracks his eye’s open, it’s to ask how we’re doing, encourage us, or crack a little joke. We had to sit him up for a little bit. That was my opportunity to rub his back a little.

Jenny and I are together at my mom’s house for the next couple of days now. We’ll be taking the 2am-5am nightwatch. Our mission is to make my dad comfortable as pain increases and breathing gets more difficult. His body is filling with fluids.

Thank you all for your prayers. If you could poke your head in the room, my dad would tell you that after 40 years of pastoring, God’s grace is sufficient to free you in this life and carry you into the next.

More as it happens.

HEAVENBOUND

Last night at 7:57 pm my father pulled himself up to find my mom in the room, reached for her hand and ran into the arms of his Savior. I can only imagine what he’s doing now. For 18 years my dad has battled with the limitations of his body. Now he’s free. Last week I asked him what kinds of questions he had for Jesus. He said, “I don’t think I’ll be able to stand, much less find the words to ask a question when I’m before my Lord. I’ll just be consumed in the presence of The Creator.”

If anyone receiving this message has any doubt that we live under the care of one who created us each uniquely from scratch, let’s get a cup of coffee really soon. I’ve got some stories that words alone cannot express.

Our family has been hovering in the abundance of God’s grace that my dad spoke of so often in the days leading to his departure. Our grief feels like birth pains—laboring through joy with a flood of anticipation. We’ll experience many emotions over the next several weeks and months, but our faith in Christ runs deeper than any emotion.

May the God of peace guide you along His path until you meet Him in victory.

MEMORIAL

WOW. God’s grace and love, is more than sufficient in these times. We’ll be celebrating my father’s life this coming Sunday the 23rd at 4pm.

The location:
Olympic Baptist Church
8713 220th St. SW
Edmonds, WA 98026

Thanks again for your love. The pace is picking up around here in preparation for Sunday. I’ll get to each of your questions and requests as soon as possible. Your individual words have been the starter bricks for the next phase of our life.

God’s blessing,

Paul

1. Lightweight so you can always keep it handy wherever you go.
2. High contrast LED readout for easily discernible sin measurement.
3. MicroSD slot for storing up to 3 lifetimes or 3.8 million unique records.
4. Can sense and measure a person’s sin-level from up to 86 feet eliminating the need for direct contact or further data such as a person’s background or current status.

STOP IT!
We don’t need the Sin-O-Meter to make a snap judgement about someone else? The skills listed above can be genetically traced all the way back to the Garden of Eden. In Genesis 3, Satan accuses God of trying to deceive Adam and Eve by telling them that they would die if they ate of a specific fruit tree. “You will not surely die… For God knows that when you eat of [the fruit] your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” His accusation was rooted in his own pride and a desire to distract and destroy something that God called ‘very good.’

Romans 3:23 says, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Then where do we get the idea that our sins are any less than someone else’s? If we all sin, is there really any way for one person to be better than another?

The bible makes it pretty clear that there is no sin greater than another, though the earthly consequences can vary quite a bit. But many Christians have used scripture as a weapon of hate—a tool of segregation and isolation. Jesus did not.

There are two stories in the bible that have impressed me more than many others when I consider how I react to what I perceive as sin in others.

In John 4:1-26 we see Jesus is asking a woman for a drink of water. She’s not just any woman, but she’s a Samaritan woman. Jesus, being a Jew, would never speak to an unclean Samaritan, especially a lowly woman… but He is Jesus, and he doesn’t want a drink of water. His desire is to find a place in her heart by breaking down the societal walls and sitting for a moment in a relaxed state. Soon Jesus would reveal the truth of pain and a longing for love that she has sough from so many men. Then He offers her a drink of water that promises to fill her up—quenching that deep thirst, while washing her clean. She knows that Jesus offers and delivers a new start, and fresh perspective.

In John 8:1-11, Jesus is crouching in the sand making shapes with his finger. Men yell over His shoulder to clear the courtyard for the issuance of judgement on a woman caught in adultery. It was the just thing for a woman to be stoned to death for committing such an act. Jesus looks up to say, “Any of you who think you’re free of sin, throw your stone.” One at a time, the men dropped their stone and walked away until no one was left to accuse her. Then the one who knew her better than she knew herself asked, “Were are your accusers? Who is left to condemn you?” “No one,” the woman said. And Jesus said, “Then neither do I condemn you. Go and leave your life of sin.”

In these two accounts, we see a Savior, not the judge. We see truth revealed, rather than a masked lie. And we see love.

Philippians 2:3 says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition of vein conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.”

Probably the best thing that could happen to us humans, would be to have our deepest, most secret sins printed on the outside of our clothing. If we could walk around and know that no sin was private, how would it change our behavior? Even better, how would it change our relationship with each other. And even better, how would it change our understanding and relationship with the God who loves us?

Just like Adam and Eve in the garden, we live in a fish bowl. You might think your hiding behind that little treasure chest with the bubbles, but your tail end is right there for the Father to witness. He knows you. And He loves you. Jesus wants to apply His gift of total sin removal to your life so that He can get on with the bigger plans. He’s designed you for a purpose. He’s dealt with your sin already, and offers you the freedom of a fresh start and a life the way God sees it.

John 3:17 says, “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” If He doesn’t condemn you, then neither do I condemn you. Now, go and leave your life of sin.

It all began when a dear friend of mine was able to buy Vista Home Premium for me at his company store… for really cheap. I use a PC mostly for testing Web and software apps that I’m creating, and I also use a PC for playing games. I was looking forward to setting up a Media Center PC / Game station for my family since I’ve got a nice TV, Xbox 360 and ton’s of time on my hands.

Here’s what I’ve got for a PC:

Alienware Area-51 Laptop
P4 3Ghz
15.4″ Screen with an nVidia G-Force 128MB Video Card
and 2GB of RAM
… one smokin’ machine, for 2004.

After 4 installation re-starts lasting over 3 hours, my nice laptop was rendered unusable because my wireless card and video card were not recognized by the system. I’m too tired to get into the details, but a number of hours later I was able to find a hacker who wrote video drivers to trick Vista into seeing my card… so now I have a screen that’s legible… and outta know where my WIFI started working. My machine now has a 3.1 performance rating in Vista, but my mouse jerks around like I’ve got a bad twitch from the stress.

I’m sure I’ll love this new operating system someday.. because it reminds me of when I upgraded to the first version of Mac OS X back in 2001. Very nostalgic with all the shiny stuff and transparent graphics.
I guess it’s like a yummie visual Frosting on another pile of Microsoft crap.

(updated)… OK, so I have to say, I really do like what Microsoft is trying to do with Vista. I really is a much nicer OS than anything they’ve produced in the past. We’ll have to see if Apple will eventually find some things that they have to “borrow” from their arch enemy (best friend). Of course, we’re not too far away from the new Mac OS X Leopard… and I’m sure there will be many similarities.

So, I’m reading Don Miller’s Blue Like Jazz. Actually for a while now because my wife had recommended the same book previously. And I really do like reading. I think that I just don’t like to begin reading.

—
When I was a kid, I used to go to the library at school to look for books. At some point I was told that I could just walk in there and borrow as many books as I wanted. So for about 4 months I borrowed as many books about magic as I could find. I was going to be a great magician and reading as many books as I could about magic was going to make me a great magician.

Occasionally these books would teach about doing weird spiritual chants and talking to dead people, but I didn’t want to really possess any supernatural power to make magic. I was just looking for some tricks to fool my sister and anyone else who I could get into my garage to watch. But I did want to be perceived as great. I only wanted to trick people into thinking that I had done something unnatural… mostly because I didn’t want to wind up a devil worshiper.

—
Growing up the son of a Southern Baptist preacher certainly didn’t give me much of a foundation for understanding the supernatural. I’m still trying to figure out what sustained my belief that there is a God and that supernatural power is real.

“Trevor” and I shared a locker in High School. He was a Pentecostal of some kind and I knew they believed in performing miracles and wonders, but they also babbled and went on in some language that they made up along the way. It was called “tongues.” It seemed they really believed that they were talking to God in a special language. I had heard about this, and it was considered a bit wacko, even mislead, in my church. But I really liked Trevor, and he liked me.

One night, Trevor and I were in Seattle’s Capital Hill neighborhood. I asked him if I was supposed to talk in “tongues.” The way I remember it, he got around to telling me that his church believed that speaking in tongues was the ultimate sign that you were a Christian. That in some way you really didn’t know if you were saved unless you spoke in tongues—or that’s at least how I heard it. I’ve heard of many churches actually teaching people how to do this. If I were going to agree with Trevor’s church, then it would mean believing that all of these years, reading the Bible and trying to understand God and live the way He wanted me to was pointless because I wasn’t even a Christian. At the least I would be a really weak Christian.
My church didn’t teach me that I had to speak weird to really talk to Jesus. I had been taught how to act like a Christian—even though I really both believed and didn’t believe the whole thing. I could convince almost anyone with my words, and a slight-of-hand friendship that I was skilled in the teachings of Jesus. But I really didn’t get that I was supposed to learn something supernatural—just the tricks to keep everyone, including Jesus, thinking that I was a Christian. A good Christian.

For the 16 years since my talk with Trevor, I’ve been asking Jesus to show me this other side of a relationship with Him. I want to know this power and for it to make me more real. I believe now that tongues can be real and meaningful somehow, but I’ve never done it. I’ve seen people healed through praying to Jesus, but have never spoken in another language while praying to Jesus. I suppose there are some classes or books that would teach me to speak with the tongues of angels—even my wife and many of my dear friends have spoken in tongues, and they seem to really like it.

I guess that I’ve always been interested in the supernatural—since I was a kid-magician in my garage. But now I think that some things just shouldn’t be taught.

You’re probably exhausted… what with all of your running about…

• Probably that idiot in front of you on the way to the drive-thru Starbucks who rudely interrupted your phone call because you wound up squeezing your way between him and the next car in line.
• Or the ignorant woman who’s insisted on seeing your I.D. at the security checkpoint—she probably isn’t even “legal.”

Well, I’m glad you can finally get off your feet and recline a bit. This world is too uncomfortable with all the nonsense about the lack of jobs, recycling, smiling. Oh! and those ignorant people in fly-over states who voted for the Bush regime, right? Stupid Earth killing, socially defective annoyances…

…You’ve just somehow figured out how to get another inch out of that little button and my carpal tunnel prevents me from continuing.

What’s your name so that I may address you regarding the position your position has put me in?

Status: 3 little girls are in my bed. I’m in the garage. It’s almost a cliché.

But I’m saved, right? Alive? Content? I have a God who leads me, feeds me, and then gives me rest… right?

The wise man of Isreal takes a deep breath and exhales:

Everything Is Meaningless

The words of the Teacher, son of David, king in Jerusalem:

Meaningless! Meaningless!”
says the Teacher.
“Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless.”

What does man gain from all his labor
at which he toils under the sun?

Generations come and generations go,
but the earth remains forever.

The sun rises and the sun sets,
and hurries back to where it rises.

The wind blows to the south
and turns to the north;
round and round it goes,
ever returning on its course.

All streams flow into the sea,
yet the sea is never full.
To the place the streams come from,
there they return again.

All things are wearisome,
more than one can say.
The eye never has enough of seeing,
nor the ear its fill of hearing.

What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.

Is there anything of which one can say,
“Look! This is something new”?
It was here already, long ago;
it was here before our time.

There is no remembrance of men of old,
and even those who are yet to come
will not be remembered
by those who follow.

— Ecclesiastes 1:1-11