The Long Goodbye

You guys know that my father’s health has been failing for years now. Since I was in high school he’s been battling one thing or another. In the last few years his health has really declined significantly finding him in dialysis, a wheelchair and on the short list for amputations.

A couple of weeks ago the doctors determined that much of both legs would have to be amputated. He also began noticing other areas of his health leading to certain complication and, through much prayer and time with my mom, decided to stop fighting death. Technicians refer to dialysis not as life-support, but death-delay because there’s no healing or recovery for a dialysis patient, only a slow and painful death. My father’s decision was to take his life out of the hands of dialysis and into the hand of Christ—knowing that Jesus would heal him for this life, or take him home for the ultimate healing in paradise.

I’ve been living in my parents living room for almost two weeks. Jenny has given me a wonderful gift by bearing the entire burden of our household so that I can spend these priceless last days with my parents. They come across every couple of days to spend time with grandpa, and to grieve. We’re all exhausted, so I don’t want to allow the strain and sorrow to overpower the immense gratitude that we all have to spend such precious moments with my dad before he passes into the Kingdom. The last 10 days feel like a year and counting with no idea of what will come.

I hope to give you updates when there’s something to share.

  • I want to ask for your continued prayers and support at this time. I’m in Edmonds. Jenny’s mostly at home with trips to Edmonds as often as they can. We’re all beat and really value your prayer.

  • My mom is really having a rough time. She and my father are 57 years old. That’s young, and my mom can’t imagine how she’ll spend the next 30 yrs without my father’s companionship.

  • My dad’s strength is dropping noticeably each day. This morning he asked for oxygen and is pretty much needing it all the time now. That doesn’t keep him from sitting up to entertain and share about God’s blessing in his life.

Thanks again. I’ll send another update soon. Please feel free to pass this on to others because I’m sure I forgot some.

UPDATE

First… I would like to take your wonderful responses and enter them into my blog as comments. IF YOU’D RATHER HAVE YOUR NAME LEFT OFF OF THE REPLY PLEASE TELL ME ASAP.

Now, the reason that I want to post this stuff on my blog is that my family have been blessed beyond measure by your thoughtfulness, personal stories and encouragement. My mom is reading many of your words to close friends and family as they visit us, so I think she’d love for me to share, more publicly, so that our family all over can be blessed.

Yesterday (9/13/07) :
My father decided to get up so that he could tell stories about each of his guns and fishing poles—you know, his father’s father shot a bear with that one, my dad caught a 6’ sturgeon with that pole, etc… It was a really meaningful time, especially with his own voice and exaggerations.

All of the sudden, my father said, “Welp, I think I’d like to go see the Woodway football team practice.” He buckled the belt on his motorized wheelchair, asked for his wind-breaker, pushed his Woodway ball cap down just above his forehead (redneck style), and before I could alert my mom, he was half-way down the cul-de-sac. We grabbed the keys and fought traffic all the way to the stadium trying to keep up. Imagine this… my dad had been on oxygen, half asleep, and outta nowhere bolts for 220th in “hi” mode. He went, encouraged the head coach, and split for home faster than we could get back in the truck. It was a successful trip for my father. I lost my mind.

I took the excitement as an opportunity to surprise Jenny with a trip home… possibly for a couple of days. It was a divine break with my lady and kids.

Today (9/14/07) :
My father’s little adventure yesterday may have been one of those bursts of energy right before the storm. Today he’s barely able to carry on a conversation without falling to sleep. He’s bleeding internally as his body is now trying to survive a very high level of toxins that are usually filtered out by your kidneys. He’s beginning to labor with each breath. When he cracks his eye’s open, it’s to ask how we’re doing, encourage us, or crack a little joke. We had to sit him up for a little bit. That was my opportunity to rub his back a little.

Jenny and I are together at my mom’s house for the next couple of days now. We’ll be taking the 2am-5am nightwatch. Our mission is to make my dad comfortable as pain increases and breathing gets more difficult. His body is filling with fluids.

Thank you all for your prayers. If you could poke your head in the room, my dad would tell you that after 40 years of pastoring, God’s grace is sufficient to free you in this life and carry you into the next.

More as it happens.

HEAVENBOUND

Last night at 7:57 pm my father pulled himself up to find my mom in the room, reached for her hand and ran into the arms of his Savior. I can only imagine what he’s doing now. For 18 years my dad has battled with the limitations of his body. Now he’s free. Last week I asked him what kinds of questions he had for Jesus. He said, “I don’t think I’ll be able to stand, much less find the words to ask a question when I’m before my Lord. I’ll just be consumed in the presence of The Creator.”

If anyone receiving this message has any doubt that we live under the care of one who created us each uniquely from scratch, let’s get a cup of coffee really soon. I’ve got some stories that words alone cannot express.

Our family has been hovering in the abundance of God’s grace that my dad spoke of so often in the days leading to his departure. Our grief feels like birth pains—laboring through joy with a flood of anticipation. We’ll experience many emotions over the next several weeks and months, but our faith in Christ runs deeper than any emotion.

May the God of peace guide you along His path until you meet Him in victory.

MEMORIAL

WOW. God’s grace and love, is more than sufficient in these times. We’ll be celebrating my father’s life this coming Sunday the 23rd at 4pm.

The location:
Olympic Baptist Church
8713 220th St. SW
Edmonds, WA 98026

Thanks again for your love. The pace is picking up around here in preparation for Sunday. I’ll get to each of your questions and requests as soon as possible. Your individual words have been the starter bricks for the next phase of our life.

God’s blessing,

Paul

About this entry

You’re currently reading “The Long Goodbye,” an entry on A Paul Ingram Point of View

Published:
9.22.07 / 3am
Category:
Introspection